Clarity
by Tabu
Summary: Haruka in a dangerous state of mind.


My sincerest and deepest thanks to NAOKO TAKEUCHI for creating and   
sharing such elegant characters as Haruka and Michiru with the rest   
of the world. Forgive me for borrowing them.  
  
  
Clarity  
A fan fic by Tabu  
  
  
  
It is with clarity, final clarity that I have made the only decision I can.   
It was not what I would have chosen a year or perhaps more correctly,   
a few months ago, but it is now. Pushed to the walls and backed   
into the proverbial corner, I must accept there is no other choice.   
  
My thoughts offer little comfort, but for what must come how can they?   
Forgive me, it has been eons since I have slept more than a few hours.   
Food has become a plight only prolonging this miserable existence.   
I must force myself to go on this way if for only a bit longer.   
Food and sleep confuse the resolve.   
  
Only in this state can I do what I must. What no one else would dare   
consider I must undertake. I shall be shunned as a parricide, oh god,   
if there were only another way!   
Please, not a death without honor.  
  
They hide her, they wrap her in their bosom and protect her. Don't they   
realize she's already dead? It was the last daimon we fought that   
took possession of her. The thing bore into her eyes making it's way   
to her brain. There it latched onto what she was, my precious Michiru...   
  
The insidious presence waiting and gauging its time. The Patience it has!   
For weeks she appeared almost the same, but what may have been imperceptible   
to others was blatantly apparent to me. Tiny movements, sly looks, choices   
of words, all indications that my Michiru was gone.  
  
This thing, this changeling that had stolen her lovely form now  
tried desperately to seduce me. At first, sadly I admit, I gave in.   
The softness of her arms, the smell of her skin were the same. Am I to  
be blamed for my weakness? For not wanting to loose the only woman I   
ever truly loved?   
The Mother of our child.  
  
They hide her, I know they do, they keep her from me.   
Our Neo Queen is not so good a liar. Her eyes give her away.   
"Haruka-san," She says to me, "please, let us help you. The brain   
fever is making you act this way." She holds her arms out to me,   
I know she would embrace me if I let her.   
As would the others, but I must not allow them to dissuade me.  
  
My mind is set on its course, the thing must die!   
I must be the one to remove it, to take it from my beloved's body.   
Then finally we shall both have peace.  
  
And so they hide her from me. They take her to places they think I can't find.  
Fools, loving loyal fools. They seek to protect both of us, but   
one of us is already dead.  
  
They've forced me into my move.   
I have the Small Lady, she slumbers in one of the bedrooms. I have locked   
her in, she can't escape. You must not think I would harm her! Never!   
She is our hope for the future.  
  
Hotaru comes to me. "Please Haruka-Papa," She says with her eyes filled   
with concern, "let her go. You only make things worse by what you do."  
I stroke her hair and look into her sweet face. "Go to the Queen," I tell   
my child, "have her send your Michiru-mama to me. Then I shall let her go."  
  
She is torn, I can see the anguish. Her love for me so deep, I am the only  
Papa she has. Hotaru's trust in me is great. Yet, how she loves the Small Lady.   
I have placed her in an unenviable position.   
  
"Haruka-papa," The strain of decision weighs heavily as she speaks, "what you do  
is impious, can you not see that?"  
I place my hands on her delicate shoulders, what a lovely young woman my Hotaru  
has become. "My dearest," I say as tenderly as words will permit, "what I do is  
necessary."  
I shall never forget the look in her dark purple eyes as she turned to go.  
  
I await an onslaught. Surely the Queen shall send her Inner senshi.   
At first they will try to dissuade me, then forced by my refusal they   
shall attack. A gentle attack no doubt, hardly worth their time or effort.   
Certainly not worthy of mine.  
  
My head aches. There is a rush, a pounding inside my temples. As if the very  
blood were trying to escape. Vision is blurry, yet I must concentrate no matter  
the pain. My balance seems off, my steps unsteady.  
They will come soon, I must be ready for them.  
  
  
  
"Haruka." The voice is sweeter than any sound I've ever heard. The gentle chime  
that belongs to Michiru. "How do you feel?"  
The fact that I am in bed suddenly strikes me. Along with the smell   
of disinfectant. "What is this place?" I have voiced the words aloud.  
  
Her soft hand touches my face. "You are in the palace infirmary." She informs  
me. "You fainted, Hotaru found you on the floor."  
"Fainted?" That does not seem likely, it is not something I would normally do.  
"Yes darling." She coos at me. "You've been here for a few days, you've been  
running a very high fever."  
The look in her eyes, the same look I fell in love with so long ago.  
It must be a trick.   
  
"Stay away from me you hell spawn!" She is stunned when I slap her hands away.  
"You shall not live long enough to carry out your evil deed, this I promise   
you!"  
How quickly her face changes, there is fear in her eyes. Good, the daimon has  
realized it faces no ordinary foe in Tenoh Haruka! I shall best it as soon as  
this cursed fever has passed. "Live in fear you wretched creature, you're end  
is near!"  
She shakes her head and places a cool rag on my burning brow. "You'll be better  
soon darling, you need to rest." Gracefully she makes her exit, but not without  
glancing back at me. I see the fear in those eyes, make no mistake of it!  
  
Silence, she's gone and now all is quiet. Excellent, there is nothing to disturb  
my musings. I shall formulate a plan that no one will expect. My genius is   
but one of my many strengths.   
Still, it is hard to concentrate. Perhaps it is the lack of food, or the fact  
that I am burning inside my own skin. Fever, well let it run its course.   
I shall bide my time and strike when I am well enough.  
My eyes grow weary, it is time to sleep.  
  
~end~ 


End file.
